For a little more than a year, myself, and the rest of the country, have been treated to a never ending stream of words that appear to be the opposite of what they used to mean. There is a continual feeling of living in backwards land.  Recent examples include arming teachers with handguns.  This is utterly ridiculous because teachers are supposed to, well, you know, teach.  They aren’t there to deal with gunslingers.  I also thought this was ridiculous because I grew up with nuns as teachers.  We did not cross them.   The nuns, and all teachers, were the rulers of their domain and if one misbehaved in their school, it was at their peril. The nuns were their own special brand of sharp shooters.  If their law and order was not heeded, the principal would be summoned.  The principal would make certain order was kept and parents would be informed.  There was no need for guns.  We lived in a world where adults spoke, children listened and things proceeded  in a way that was organized around those basic tenets.   Now I’m being told that the adults in charge of the country don’t want to do anything about the current problem in our schools/malls/public places.  Somehow, small groups of people are supposed to fend for themselves by arming one or two individuals to keep watch.  If we arm those individuals, then who will we get to teach the children?  Children do not need to be taught the caliber of anything save their own character.

Why can’t the teachers just be teachers?  Couldn’t we just agree that they are in charge of their classrooms and the schools overall and that the children will abide by the rules and regulations set forth.  Couldn’t we also agree that the teachers generally do this so that the best interests of children as a group are served in an effort to educate the population as a whole.  I realize that this will keep some individual students from achieving the status of being “special,” but perhaps they can rely on their parents to impart that notion.  If we have teachers doing the teaching, couldn’t we have our LAW makers implementing some laws that would protect this system so that children are safe in the hands of those same educators.

It seems backwards to me that teachers would be expected to keep law and order and that law makers don’t seem to have any expectations, other than pointing fingers and blaming others.  Another backwards idea is that we elected people to do a job and they look for ways to trickle down their responsibilities.  I don’t want guns in our classrooms.  They should be filled with children who are safe to read books, complete assignments, take tests, learn music, make art, make friends, and get made fun of when they pick their nose.  I want classrooms where rules are enforced for the good of everyone so that all go home at the end of the day.  I also want the politicians to step up and put some laws in place so this can happen.

We live with elected officials who want me to believe that orange is the new black.  Their backwards logic is presented as just another season of reality television.

Five years ago, I arrived in the Tenth Circle of Hell via a marriage certificate.  That was long enough to make me decide to get a divorce.  I went back to my life and my writing.  For those unaware of what torments exist in the Tenth Circle of Hell, it is this: endless instruction from a spousal unit on the correct way to do EVERYTHING.

Forget that there was a successful life before the second marriage.  Ignore any skills acquired through education, experience, friendships or hobbies.  Simple tasks are explained ad nauseam and at such odd times that it cannot be rationally grasped.

For example, after a lifetime of doing dishes, both by hand and with a dishwasher, I was instructed repeatedly in this area.  When using a dishwasher, there were commands about correct placement of dishes, directionality of silverware in the tray, rinsing and not rinsing, bowls vs. cups in the lower rack and measuring dishwasher detergent down to the milliliter. All of this instruction was provided by someone who did not touch dishes unless they were on a dining table heaped with his favorite foods and a choice of one of seven identified vegetables that he would deign to eat.

Growing up in a rural area, few of us took driver’s education.  We managed to get through traffic just fine and I drove blissfully ignorant for many years.  After arrival in the Tenth Circle of Hell, my spouse provided on the spot training while we were in the car.  Using his best shouting voice, I was advised that the speed of my driving was always incorrect, that following other cars was never close enough and my head was never turned far enough to adequately check for traffic.  It wasn’t just me that was coached in the fine art of motoring.  Other driver’s on the road were honked at, sworn at and had a fist shaken at them as well.  All while I was at the wheel.  These lessons were forced on me by a spouse who did not drive because no one would ever get in the car with him.

It’s true that money can be a source of irritation in a marriage.  When your marriage is the Tenth Circle of Hell, this topic has the effect of making you bang your head against the wall.   Bills would be opened and place out of sight.  I would find them the following month with the overdue notices.  A lecture would follow on timely bill payment to avoid late fees.  He demanded the checkbook be placed in his night stand so that he would not have to search for it when writing checks for his hobbies.  He also wrote checks for his friends’ hobbies.  He didn’t want to make a big deal out of his check writing, so he never told me and never wrote them down.  Following this would be very loud interrogation on whether or not monthly bills had been paid. This would end with the enjoinder that he “likes to have these things done ‘ the right way’.”

I really did start to wonder how I had managed to do things before being the recipient of such profound tutoring.  In my head I kept hearing the question, “What the HELL is going on?” (see Tenth Circle comments above).

After a particularly inane diatribe on how to use an automatic door, I decided that I had to get out of the Tenth Circle of Hell.  Having received directives on trifling matters for so long, I decided to entrust the navigation out of the Tenth Circle to a wonderful lawyer.  A no nonsense woman, she gave practical advice on how to leave the Tenth Circle of Hell and protect myself.  After rapidly gathering every document needed and signing some papers, I charted my way back to the land of solitude. There I resumed management of daily affairs and my own psyche without lectures from anyone at all.  Word from friends is that my former spouse has already found his next victim.  He is holding the door open and has invited her in to the next Circle of Hell.