Recently I have been doing quite a bit of traveling that has involved airline flights. Because I forgot to add my TSA number to my tickets, I had to stand in long lines and have the airport folks go through my things. This also involved a pat down by the TSA airport personnel. I didn’t mind this too much as I am a middle aged woman and no one else is really that interested in my body. I’ve been married long enough that my husband doesn’t notice as much as those airline folks. Such is life.

For the most part, the TSA people are fairly nice to me. After we exchange brief pleasantries, I head off for my flight and they continue their patting and checking and whatever else their job entails. I do have to say that I don’t mind going through all this but if I have to undergo a pat down, I’d like TSA to up their game a little.

The most recent pat down was from a very nice woman in Jacksonville, Florida. She was pleasant enough but it would be preferable if someone that looked like Jason Statham were doing her job. This would be a sure fire way to have most women become more enthusiastic about airline security. Or how about someone to pat you down that looks like Will Smith? He’s good looking AND amusing. There are other candidates for this job that could be named. However, I don’t really want someone who looks like Mick Jagger doing this. He’s a little craggy. How about if they get someone who looks like Russel Crowe, but before he gets too much larger.

Entering the checkpoint, I did specifically request that a good looking young man conduct the search of my person. My request was not granted. Some excuse about certain people doing certain jobs, etc. The attractive younger man at the checkpoint entrance was not offended by my request. He thanked me for the compliment and wished me a nice day. After the electronic scan, there was the subsequent pat down. As I said, this was conducted by that nice woman in Jacksonville. I told her that I had specifically requested that a good looking, young man complete this task. The only thing TSA officer suggested was that her swarthy looking co-worker could conduct another search. I refused on the grounds that I don’t want to be searched by anyone that is not as good looking as I am. As I said, I’m middle aged so there is wide latitude for the “good looking” criteria. The swarthy looking man didn’t really meet my criterion.

Airline security is important. I want government employees to be enthusiastic about keeping us all from being blown up by three ounces of hair conditioner. I am willing to do my part by being searched by the TSA folks. But let’s have some standards here. I’m sure my male counterparts would agree. When one’s limbs and private parts are being x-rayed, photographed or otherwise gone over, it would do something to ease the indignity if the scenery were improved.